MuskogeeHogFan's Sandwich Theory (WARNING: Visible Evidence of Retardation Below)

We wrote recently about a relative newcomer to the Hogville flock known as MuskogeeHogFan, and promised that we'd follow up with some of his most exceptional material. As promised:

Quote from: MuskogeeHogFan on August 09, 2008, 07:52:23 AM
The "Sandwich Game". Coaches hate these games because they are typically against teams that could be capable but may be in a bit of a down year. They are dangerous because they are situated between what you or your kids on the team may consider to be bigger games on your schedule. Let downs can and sometimes, do occur and more than one team has found themselves taking an "L" when they thought they might skate by with a "W". We have 6 of these games on our schedule this year from which we might benefit.

Alabama-The week before is a patsy, but the week after us they play at Georgia.

Florida-The week before us they play Ole Miss and the week after they have perhaps one of their two biggest games of the year against LSU.

Kentucky-The week before they play S. Carolina, the week after at Florida.

Ole Miss-The week before they are at Alabama, the week after they have Auburn.

S. Carolina-The week before they have Tennessee, the week after they are at Florida.

Miss. State-The week before they have Alabama and the week after, their annual rivalry game with Ole Miss.

I think that this helps us win at least 5 of these 6. I believe we will upset Texas. Add in our first two wins of the season and this has us at 8-1. We play Tulsa on 11/1 after they had to face Central Florida on 10/26. They have just 5 days to prepare in a shortened week between games and we will beat them as well. This brings us to 9-1. If we take a loss at Auburn(though I think they are very beatable) and we lose to LSU, this still would give us a 9-3 season. I think 8-4 is more likely, but if the "sandwich games" play in our favor, we might do better.

OK, bring it on guys. How do you think the sandwich games might help or hurt us?

This is the archetype of a Muskie post. It has all the elements: ruthless stating of the obvious, ponderous game-by-game "breakdowns," an utter paucity of logic, wild speculation that is put forth as gospel, and, of course, the customary capper--an urging for all to share their wrong, stupid opinions to the contrary.

MuskogeeHogFan's "analysis" is so mind-numbingly quixotic that he makes HoopHog (you remember him, the guy who wore a t-shirt and blazer to Acadia one night and sipped Pinot Grigio while being captured on film) seem discerning and cautious by comparison. Apparently, this dumbass believes that Arkansas, being McFadden-less, Jones-less, and Dick-ful, can lurk in the shadows, like Najeh Davenport in a dorm room closet, and then strike like a cobra...because every team will overlook us.

Here's another fallacy: when a team gets to be 8-1, as MHF projects, they are no longer viewed as a "sandwich" or a "trap." They are regarded as a top-ranked team that commands much respect. In fact, if Arkansas beats Texas and gets to 3-0, they will probably be ranked and no opposing coach will ever regard us as a "sandwich" game the rest of the season.

MuskogeeHogFan will not want to hear this. It runs sharply counter to every bit of nonsense he has authored and so, by extension, it will be dismissed as the crude ramblings of an unindoctrinated simpleton. We can't rebut that, because after all, MHF will tell you, "Hey, it's all in good fun."

Again, we do have to give credit to Hogville's teeming mass of inhumanity. While some continue to press on stubbornly (stupidly) and offer their opinions, humoring MHF, many just turn the other way. This thread, for instance, died pretty quickly, and said death aggravated MuskogeeHogFan, who usually offers a faggotly whine after about 10-12 minutes of inactivity in his threads, wondering why no one bothers to respond.

We want him to keep it up.