Super Idea! +1!!!

This can only be described as disturbing:


http://www.hogville.net/yabbse/index.php?topic=159205.0

I was inspired by a fellow Hogvillian's email to Gus.

I wrote:

Quote

Dear Coach Graham,

Please be our coach.

signed,
The University of Arkansas fanbase.

PS:
I'm rooting for you against UAB. You've got a good OC, and a good man in Gus Malzahn. I hope you win the conference.

His reply was short but sweet:

Quote

Thanks Matthew, we are having some fun.
-Coach G.

For months, the media has depicted the Arkansas Razorback fan base as a collection of loons, ambulance chasers, snoops, losers, and litigious freaks, in varying proportions. Now, just to cement that ignominious standing, the Hogville proletariat is firing off emails directly to coaches and begging them to come here. You can't make this up.

We'd personally like to see a coach like Todd Graham spend just a couple of minutes to draft a response like this:

"Dear Dumbass,

I would sooner take the reins of the team of inmates from 'The Longest Yard' than subject myself to the whims of nutty Arkansas fans and the altogether unchecked idiots like yourself. Remember when Eddie Sutton said he would crawl to Lexington just to get out of Fayetteville? I would crawl backwards to Vancouver, naked, in subzero temperatures, with leeches affixed to my genitalia, if it meant that I could avoid the wrath of tens of thousands of people like you.

Thanks for your interest, and I will be praying that the child support garnishment against you eventually forces you to drop your Internet service.

Signed,

Coach X"

Smarter Hogville Analysis: In a nice bit of symmetry, as Houston Nutt continues to prove week in and week out that he is as inept a coach as you will find in these United States, the Hogvillians similarly stoop ever lower in their laughable effort to conduct some sort of coup d'etat. At this rate, eventually Nutt will call a timeout before opening kickoff and will allow Casey Dick to return punts, and Hogville will organize a Burning Man-style gathering in Eureka Springs in order to flush out the Nutt toxins.