We absolutely adore HoopHog.
We've made it abundantly clear in this space before that nobody provides unintentional--at least we think it's unintentional--comedy quite like everyone's favorite booger-pickin', blazer-clad sommelier. And yet again, he has given us cause to rejoice and bask in his superbadness.
http://www.hogville.net/yabbse/index.php?topic=154717.msg2423236#msg2423236
Pull the feelings off the sleeve, buddy. If I try to embarrass you, you will definitely know it. I was an English major, so I am always proofing -- it my nature. Proofing does not mean trying to one up another poster. But, if the shoe fits...?
Hoop concentrates so much wit and wisdom into such a short post that we often wonder why he can't similarly narrow down his own physique. But aside from that, how can you not just love a guy who drops the hammer like John Henry himself?
First, the tough talk: "Pull the feelings off the sleeve, buddy. If I try to embarrass you, you will definitely know it." Damn straight! That is why we at Smarter Hogville have an undying and unapologetic love for Hoop: he will not take shit!!! And he will tell you--nay, he shall command ye--to bow down and appreciate what he's about to say. To use the parlance of our times, HoopHog will make you his bitch, and you will like it.
Second, he was an English major. As if we didn't know that! C'mon, this guy has practically filled Bartlett's Quotations with some of his better quips. I mean, he talked about feeding somebody sorbet on Hogville not long ago, remember? God, who has the stones to do that?!
Third, he proofreads everything except, apparently, the immediate subsequent independent clause: "I am always proofing--it (sic) my nature." We love irony. It can be pretty ironic sometimes.
Finally, let's not overlook the important lesson that comes with playing Grammar Nazi on Hogville, which must be a lot like instructing a room full of rat terriers about table manners: "Proofing does not mean trying to one up another poster." Sage words indeed. To put it simply, on Hogville.net, it's not about showing off or being condescending or flashing Internet balls to see whose are the biggest. It's about community. It's about togetherness. It's about finding new and different ways to objectively portray the Arkansas Razorback fan base as a bunch of grown-up thalidomide babies who pound out their hatred for the football coach on their QWERTYs everyday.
It should be noted that the diligent proofreader later misspelled the word "feeble" as "feable" in a subsequent post, in which Hoop also referred to Darren McFadden as "D-BAC."
Smarter Hogville Analysis: What more can be said about HoopHog that we haven't said already? In honor of his English background, we present a humble limerick in his honor:
To be the chief bard of Hogville,
Takes immeasurable levels of skill,
You serve as a proofer,
And the cagiest spoofer,
Paying no mind to your own dirty nostril.
12 comments:
That dood is a looser.
I love this blog. The only thing worse than HoopHog's take on the Internet is hearing his takes on the radio.
Ed Bethune LOVES HoopHog
So does Sidney Eudy!
Smarter Hogville is so easy to write a Caveman.....err.....White County rednecks rejects who are only worth daddy's money can do it. When does the Divorcees and Bad Parenting Blog debut?
White county rednecks rejects. Comedy gold. Word salad. But comedy gold. Gold salad.
Celery.
White County? There isn't a soul living in White County that can compose this prose.
Wow. A blog that critiques an internet message board.
Well it's about time! Thank you for taking the time to doing this.
I've always thought it would be a good idea but who would waste that kind of time?
An unemployed, dope smoking, drug dealer suckling from the government teat?
If you werent a chickenshit you would identify yourself.
All of you.
Did I say dope smoking?
I must apologize. I meant to say drug addled.
Nice to see that some Hogville posters find this blog so threatening that they post anon comments on it...too bad anyone with 1/2 a brain can pick them out. No one on Hogville that post on a regular basis can tell ANYONE that they need to get a life...this is the same board who questioned a while back (about a year ago) whether or not the U of A was a place of academics or sports...'nuff said.
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