A few days ago, we directed your attention to one of Hogville's brightest bulbs--again, heed the context of that comment before pausing in reverence--and today, he fired off another round of polysyllabic castigation and mawkish hyperbole (see, we can play the game too!) when he got all sideways with one poster who might've stepped in the wrong poopy pile:
http://www.hogville.net/yabbse/index.php?topic=147556.msg2325027#msg2325027
Wow pot, let me introduce you to kettle. How presumptuous of you...both this post:
""Move on" means stop complaining and start encouraging our team and coaches... Go Hogs!!!"
and this ridiculous response:
"If by vast majority of naive Hog fans, you are referring to the majority of us who are encouragers and positive supporters of our team and coaches, then you should reevaluate how you refer to Hog fans in such a childish and small minded and unintelligent manner."
You encourage keeping your eyes closed to serious problems just so you can be entertained with another 'propped up' winning season -- how singularly pathetic. Your posturing only endorses mismanagement as this set continues to collude upon the Hill. Do you really want to discuss "unintelligent?" I will semantically spit you out and render you colloquially tongue tied. Your brand of sweet elementary logic will make as a tasty sorbet as I whet and cleanse my appetitie in preparation for someone with a real bag of cognitive goods. READY!
One imagines that, in order to fully prepare himself for the onslaught he was about to undertake, "Hoop" had to first towel off the brown gravy that had accumulated on his face during lunch, and then open up a tab in his browser to Google big words.
Now, far be it from us to lampoon the poor sap, but he just makes it so damn easy. For instance, there's an ongoing debate as to what's "singularly pathetic": Is it the fan who begrudgingly keeps his hopes up despite the ongoing presence of H. Dale Nutt, Jr., especially when the 2007 season still hasn't begun, or is it the fan who brandishes a thesaurus, a blazer, and a glass of vino while putting a cyber-lashing on the first fan? There's room for argument here, so let's just call it a draw, and say that "singularly" is a bit too strong a modifier.
Next, we discover that "posturing...endorses...mismanagement [and] collu[sion] on the Hill." Wow. Fan #1, you should be ashamed of yourself! What's next--will you opt out of the forthcoming class action against Houston Nutt? Where are your priorities, you rat bastard?! Oh, and by the way, if you root for the troops but stop short of excoriating the leader, then you still hate America. If nothing else, George W. Bush has taught us that. Pinko.
Act III of HoopHog's latest opus--nay, comedy--comes via the verbal flourish, and again the mind's eye sees good ol' Hoop, lathered up and flecked with pieces of fried food batter in his goatee, getting a hearty chuckle over himself as he finishes in style:
- "Semantically"--we would've preferred "systematically" here, but one can't quarrel with Hoop's diction when he's posting with passion and spirit.
- "Colloquially"--hell yeah! He took a bitchin' word and made it bitchiner by adverbalizin' it. That's...my...dawg!
- "Sorbet"--right at this point, you can literally feel what it's like to get served by HoopHog when he's in Papa-don't-take-no-mess mode. He could've said that he was going to feed you a pain burger or embarrassment pie, but do you think a debonair cat's gonna play like that? God, does any food serve notice that you are about to get OWNED quite like sorbet?!
- "Bag of cognitive goods"--Here comes Santa Hoop, here comes Santa Hoop, right down Santa Hoop La-ane!!! I do know that if HoopHog came down my chimney December 24 to bring knowledge, I would be so grateful that I might just crap my flannel pajama pants.
Otherwise...IT'S ON!!!
14 comments:
HoopHog is a booger eating faggot that works at a hotel (hahaha), clean my room "Hoop".
Tell fat Ruth I said "hi"
I would like to eat snot out of BoogerHog's Goatee, and his belly lint from a river of gravy.
I love that sweet, sweet swinger pussy that R has.
Meet me at Arcadia. I'll be wearing a blue blazer over a pimp t-shirt.
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it.....
Does HoopHog berate said tree before taking his shirt off and doing a breasticle dance on War Memorial's golf course?
Oh yeah, is it wrong for me to wish he would die in a fiery car crash?
hey hoop, by the looks in that pic of you in your three point stance, I would suggest wearing a bra. I mean come on those bad boys are already sagging enough
Spot on analysis, nay, codification, of this sorbet slinging Wordsworthian!
I love this blog.
"I'm just sitting here today wondering what my Ruth is up to. I am nervous that she may try to drive home after consuming a couple of glasses of liquid white trash skank, i mean white zinfandel." I'll sit here and cuddle the kitten until my 'big cat' gets home. And once she gets home old HoopHog will get in his three point stance, let his titties sag, and pounce on big woman like a tiger attacking it's prey. Oh, I hear Ruthie poo pulling up now, better get this shirt off....."
I know HoopHog has a large Marge...but does she compare to the Hog that Douglas goes home to?
ROWWWWR.
Ahhh yes, Douglas and his wife..hahhaha
do they still have that website, www.itsaboutdamntime.com ??
And look out, Douglas used to be a professional wrestler.
Turn the goddamn arcade off.
What is smarterhogville? You're soaking in it.
He emits an air of overwhelming vanity combined with some unspecific nastiness, like a black widow spider in heat. But nobody seems to notice. He could be reciting 'Fox's Book of Martyrs' in Finnish and these people would be rolling out of their seats.
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