The Hogville House Rules

1. You must promise to, if necessary, admit that you are wrong. e.g. Arkansas will lose 8 games this season because of Nutty. Suck it, Nuttzis. I'll admit if I am wrong. You just have to promise that you will do so. Don't worry, however, because you are never wrong.

2. You must have a voucher if you post outlandish information. e.g. Mitch Mustain has a penis the size of Ohio. I have emailed my source to a moderator. Mod: I will vouche for this. We cannot stress enough that you must have a voucher, and you must email the name to a moderator. We are confident that nobody would ever lie in such an email.

3. You must adapt your position to match the current discussion. e.g. Thread one: Nuttsac ran Mitch Mustain off! Thread two: Nuttsac refused to release Mustain! Always remember that if anyone ever points out your inconsistency, you can call them a Hugger and leave it at that.

4. You must hate Rick Schaffer. No Poster of integrity can possibly trust someone so positive. If he is so honest, why won't he admit that he is lying?

5. You must talk about class and integrity, while weaving insults and nerdy nicknames into your posts. e.g. We need a coach with class and integrity, unlike Houston Pecan, and anyone who can't see that is an idiot/moron/rainbow-sniffer/dumbass/hugger/pumper who can suck my c---. Remember, you need only talk about class and integrity, you don't really have to have any yourself.

6. You must mangle the English language. A typo here and there is not sufficient. You have to hack it to pieces. e.g. I am wholed up in my room reading everyone's post.

7. You must talk out of your ass on every subject beyond your knowledge. e.g. Every post ever made by 311Hog. In particular, be mindful that you do not have to have a law degree to assert your superior knowledge of the law and legal system.

8. You can be a complete loser and be worshipped by other complete losers. You just need an opinion, a Hogville account with at least 10 posts, and a complete lack of decency, common sense and basic education.

9. DO NOT TRY TO SILENCE US.

10. Biggus Piggus has the ability to transcend time and space to obtain first hand information about the inner-workings of the athletic program while remaining in a far away state. In no way does he ever pull "inside information" out of his ass, so do not question him. Just read his unnecessarily long posts and the fact that they contain no actual substance. If you must reply, "Great post, Biggus" is acceptable. e.g. Biggus: Alex Mortensen is THE FUTURE. He can make throws all over the field and was the best QB on campus the day he stepped on it. Response: Great post, Biggus.

11. Quit hitting refresh every ten seconds on Signing Day. I WILL TURN THE ARCADE OFF!

Last, but most important ...

12. Hogville is kinda a big deal. It is an important landmark in Razorback sports and exercises great influence over the athletic administration and the direction of the program. That is unless someone claims that the influence is negative, in which case we're just a meaningless internet message board and they need to get over it.